Leave a comment;)

Thursday, December 22

dEtaiLs 0f BEauTy.

Hey Guys...;)
Hope you all had the Best, Most wonderful Christmas ever!!! I know I did...
We had a Green Christmas. So it didn't really feel like Christmas that much.. Just an ordinary day with an extraordinary History.
Its snowed alll day today tho, and its been absolutely Magical and Wonder striking!!
The backyard turned into a snow globe... swirls, twists, dives of the puffs of snowflakeness.... AWEsome. :)
Today I Made snow angels and owl snow sculptures and stuff.
So my holidays are mostly gorging myself with DELICIOUS food repeatedly until i feel sick and being with family, which are both the best things ever.;)

I don't have anything else right now, so I'm just gonna put some wintry pictures i found...  Hope you like.;)

Tuesday, December 20

Is It Christmas?


...but soooon ;D.....
(i click my heels in happiness.)

Thursday, December 8


It's becoming WInter!!!!!
The thought fills me with excitement and hyperventilation,
As far as actual snow, so far its been pretty pitiful,
but Hey there's still time to get some good snowing done before Christmas!
But theres small patches of whiteness...
Something about waking up, and beholding the Winter Wonderland
outside of your window.
My breath hitches at the pure White fantasy that its become overnight.
I want to go roll around in it.
My inner canine coming out I suppose...:)

So What do you guys think about winter and snow and Christmas????
Do you Love it too?! :D
((super hyper, energetically waiting for responses...))

Friday, December 2

REAL Hunger

When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.

Sunday, November 27

Early Morning Stillness

Iridescent Purple...
                      A glittering spray of fireflies
                                                            scattered far and wide,
   Before my misty eyes
  They visit Undisturbed.

The sky relaxes...
      Royal Blue Floods the Sky.

     A faint glimmer of light,
             A wishful, winking sun peeking over the edge of my vision.
    Silhouettes and Shadows
come out of hiding,
          Looming shapes
                          Brighten to reveal Frost encased hills..

Streetlights grow weary
                             and slowly simmer into oblivion.

Simpering puddles of sunlight race for the Heavens,
                                        trying to see who can get to the top first.

Telephone poles energetically stretch for the sky,
           sending puffs of feathered fluff
                                                          into the air...

Lacey trees whisper..
                    comforting each other in the Prying stillness

Suburbs lazily blink awake..
                                                                         and get ready for a big day.

I watch in silence,

Friday, November 25


Hey Guys:)
Long time no post!
Its been almost a month (gasp!!!) and i just wanted to tell you guys that I in fact am NOT dead,
Just insanely busy! Working on a couple of things, so in the next... few weeks we'll say..;) 
I'll be adding some shtuff here.
Real writing can't be forced, but I've started some "things" and maybe the time will
come to finish them up soon, Whoooo knows? ;)

Also, this picture may be one of the most adorable things I've seen all day. 
The Cute may attack you. 
Shield yourselves!!!!

Thanks for your patience;)

Saturday, November 12


...Tear stains on an empty page
            Telling the story more beautifully than any words could ever hope to...

A Story of Grief,
                        of Pain.
A chapter of Trying to forget.
Innocence ribboned through the entanglement of a Young precious life.
Whispers of Knowing, 
                        Of being torn;
Telling of a deep empty Hopelessness
           Being buried Alive.

                         A Love Revealed!
                                           A Glorious, Wonderful Light,
                                                         Illuminating the deepest shadows hiding in the corners.
                  Oh How I could not even Tell you!!

And Peace.
 It took my breath away.

A story of total security,
Nestled in the arms of The Maker Himself.
The Wonder escapes my explanation!
The Love in His eyes
                as He Tenderly Held the very Zane of His existence.
The silent message of Absolute Acceptance.
The Whispers of Hope that echoed throughout the little room..

I Knew I would Never forget...

A Mighty, Crashing Waterfall of Peace.
I felt It Abrasively Removing the layers of dust that for so long I had neglected
Until Nothing Remained.
Stripped Free of everything that once I had used to Hide behind;
I Stood
In being so Loved,
                      My Unworthiness Revealed.
Because of Grace,
                   UnFathomable Grace...
                                       I Now Know Freedom.

Dedicated to Amberlynn.

Friday, November 11


                                                         Today is Remembrance Day.
 Even though I don't agree with war and fighting to make peace,
I still think it's important to respect and remember those who did, and died because of it.
 This poem has always intrigued me...
As I try to imagine an endless ocean of poppies, scarlet in the dying sun...
Rows of crosses. Stretching out into the horizon,
I can't see the beginning..
I can't see the end.  
Thousands of Men, Eager to die for Freedom.

I wonder how many knew.. that
True Freedom is only a whisper away.

In Flanders Fields
                   the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch, be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,

though poppies grow
            In Flanders fields.

John McCrae

Tuesday, November 8

In This Storm...

In my Bibles little dictionary describes Hope as "Confident Expectation".
I've been thinking about Hope alot lately. Especially on the dark days, when i can't see anything secure for me to hold onto. When theres not a flash of Light, just endless, cold, damp Darkness. It washes over me, chilling me to the bone. I start to ache. I start to doubt. I wonder why it has to be like this. Why can't the sun just peek out from behind the layer of clouds, just for a small moment? But, I know that the sun IS there. Behind the clouds, Its there. I know this. I have unwavering confidence that the sun is exactly where it always has been.
Even in the darkest of the dark tunnels i have to walk through, I see that little strip of light at the end, that tiny little promise of something brighter ahead. A light in the window, A Hope. A LIVING Hope.
That day, long ago, when i Accepted God's Love and let Him rescue me, He gave me this Hope. He handed it to me, softly and gently. He smiled with His eyes. I saw True Love, tangible, for the first time.
"This is for you", He said. "To warm up your stiff frozen hands when you are chilled to the bone. When it seems like there's nothing else, remember this Hope. It will keep you alive. Nobody can ever take this from you. Break off little pieces, and give them to somebody who needs it, whenever you can. Live in a way so that people can see this Hope, and yearn for what I have given You."
So now, even when it seems like theres nothing left for me to live for, I have Hope. And I have God. He never moves, He's where he's always been. He never changes, We do.

This song is so special to me. In that moment that I am weakest, I need Him the most. And every time I've fallen, He has always been there, a whisper in the wind, telling me that He is with me and I don't have to be afraid. 
Never Lose Hope, my Friends.<3

I was sure by now, God,
You would have reached down
           And wiped our tears away,
    Stepped in and saved the day...
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.

I remember when
              I stumbled in the wind...
                       You heard my cry to you
           And you raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone...
How can I carry on,                
              If I can't find You?
But As the thunder rolls
       I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you!"     And as Your mercy falls..
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
                                  And takes away!

And I'll praise You in this storm
                       And I will lift my hands...
   For You are who You are
           No matter where I am!
               And every tear I've cried,
You hold in Your hand!
      You never left my side..
And though my heart is torn,
       I will praise You in this storm!

Sunday, November 6


Muted creaking:
     A door slowly opening.
              I pause.
Unsure of what I'm stiffly waiting for..
         My vision blurs.
             My heartbeat,
         Echoing off those well-known cement walls,
                                         Finally Clatters to a halt on the cold empty floor.

A heavy hush,
                    The Silence whispers a faint familiar lullaby in my ear
                           "Remember Me?"

Violent Waves,
          A crashing Tossing Tide of frothing memories,
                               Almost pulling me under.
                                   Grasping for something to hold onto,
Grabbing at Empty spaces.
   Vehement Undercurrents of Nostalgia
                           Convincingly, Pulling,
 A tinge of BitterSweet lingers in the air
                         Coating my Tongue.
      suffocating me.
          Tumbling through my detached body.

        Dripping softly...
     My hand silently grazes the droplets off my face. 

An old friend, tugging on my arm
                                                        "Please!   Don't Forget...   "
Leaving me breathless,
    Wishing to never leave.
                   Just to Remember...   Forever...

Hey guys;)
Yesterday I revisited the place where i spent half of my life,
My old school. I opened one of the doors, and the smell came whooshing at me,
And it made me remember. Like yesterday.
So many memories, so many old familiar smells...  
It was quite nostalgic.
I had to tell you about it.
I had to let you feel it with me.

Tuesday, November 1

Just out of Reach

       i seem to be living,
But somewhere else. Where noone else exists.
                 It's just...
  A distant tide
                    tickles close to my toes...
tugs at them softly than glides away waving at me. 
                         "catch me if you can"  it whispers...
Distant daydreams pull me away from reality
                     A blue jay flitting before my frosty gaze
         I'm floating...                             lost in a song that nobody else seems to know..
                 eyes wide.      unSeeing...
           A ballroom of dancing dreams
                                              Twist and sway
                        Before my eyelids..
     twinges of remembrance,
                               A memory.             
                                         it twinkles just out of grasp, and teases me fluttering closer..
                                                                                                                                 Darts away.
  Enchanted Evenings                         
                   and early morning memories,  waking up to the smell of make-believe.
                                          wispy hints of the day before. 
                                  Hovering.... just above my starstruck vision
                                                             Nudging me awake.
  Telling me a story that i almost wonder..
                                                     If I've heard      Before..
                                                               ..Once upon Time..     

                 ....But then again....
                              Maybe I'm Just a Dreamer.

Wednesday, October 26

Something MUSHy...

  Heehee get it? Get the title? nudge nudge:)
This is kind of a cool pic i thought to myself... I don't enjoy mushrooms to snack on because personally I think they taste like boiled slugs so.. that kind of takes away the initial excitement for ME personally, not that there was any...
*awkward cof* 
But i do enjoy this picture. It's such a cute mushroom just standing up for what he believes in, all alone. I'm proud of him. He did the right thing.

Also it has been brought to my attention that maybe i should use spell check more often, as APPARENTLY.. my previous years of being a spelling genius have diminished rapidly since graduating..  Brooke brought this to my attention and by "brought this to my attention" I mean she kind of made immense fun of my lack of... skills...  And kind of, you know, um threw it in my face.. So i just want to APOLOGIZE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW too all you perfectionists out there, (*cof* Carson*cof).  So yeah.. Maybe i'll go back and change that. Yeah. I will. :)
K. Enough of that. 
So do you guys like mushrooms? Like.. to munch on?

Monday, October 24

Ponderings of a more InTRicAte nature.

"Your Own Mind is the Only Thing That can Hold You Victim."

  Its true, that phrase. Isn't it? Every day i go around thinking thoughts and opinions and bumble jumbled randomness. Every time i feel intimidated, frustrated, insecure, scared, petrified, judged, or just down, Its because i Let myself feel that way. The only one who can actually "change" the way i think is ME. Other people can bring ideas, egg me on, or even convince me to change my way of thinking in small areas, yet only I have control of whether i decide to believe them or not; agree with them or not. Or whether to say, "Okay so she did this, and she still has a meaningful relationship with God it looks like, so like.. probably I could TRY it at least.." There's a little niggling of guilt, but i kind of ignore it and chose not to chose. Choosing not to chose seems like the easy way out so often, but that ignoring the Holy Spirit once, can turn into twice and more and more so fast.
  God gave us the power of choice, so that when one of his little creatures decided to follow Him, it was because he CHOSE to. And because he Absolutely was in Love with God, and wanted whatever He wanted for him. In a way it seems so small, but that little teeny thing we let our self think and we let kind of frisk around in our brain and we get used to it and accept it, they could be the making or breaking of our destiny; or Heaven or Hell. That one little thing we decide won't matter because i tell myself its just a teeny thing, It shouldn't make a difference, or change anything, That alone could be the decision that takes me off of God's path. When suddenly our life is snuffed out, were not going to be thinking about that jacket that we wished we had bought. We're going to be hoping that we made the right decisions, cos at that time NOTHING else will matter. Not a thing. And if we haven't been living Absolutely for God and suddenly are disappointed, we'll wish we had just done that one little thing that one time differently than we did.
Sumfin spechul:  http://owlcityblog.com/2011/10/24/why-must-we-fall/

Thursday, October 20

A particularly cheesy aftertaste threatens..

                a dollop of chocolate threatens to tumble..
it glides slowly towards the ground,i reach for it,
but my finger misses. splat.
I stoop. With a tender gaze, I affectionately comfort the liquid smear whose life was so dramatically ended in front of my very eyes. My eyes water in sadness for all the experiences of living it missed.
Its young years were so cut short.
I cry.

       I have noticed that saying this poem/sad little story to ones self out loud, creates an almost.. hypnotizing atmosphere, and not in a fun way. In a "AHHH GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sort of way.
Its kindof traumatizing for all involved.
I'll leave it at that.

You probably notice i really suck at updating this blog regularly or even like... weekly.. but. Yeah. So now i leave this picture in your tender loving care for you to admire and gaze at wistfully.

                                                                      Goodbye My beignets peu de lard:)
P.S. I'm apologizing right here and now that you had to read this. For your safety you might want to look into getting a full time shrink if your going to continue to read my blog. Lol.

Wednesday, October 12

The Severity of Traffic Cone Mouth Syndrome

Today my essay(bahaha) is on:
Brushing One's Teeth with Orange Paint.
Obviously, I could go the "usual/normal" road of saying..
"I WAS JOKING what kind of IDIOT would do something so stupid? I mean hello?!"
Or i could pretend this is normal.
I'll go with the latter.

So here it is.

If One Was to Brush His/Her Teeth with Orange Paint.

                           -Could trick people into thinking that you have just consumed a large amount of cheesies.
                  -Can cause traffic jams; considering your mouth now resembles a construction site.
                  -No more unwanted Beaus(Oh biiig struggle you know)(LOL).     
                  -Save money on Whitening Strips.
                  -Save money on nightlights.
                  -Save money on headlights.
                   -May get unwanted harassment about food stuck in teeth/unusual color of mouth vicinity, when CLEARLY it is intentional.
                   -Teeth may fall out and/or rot.
                   -Most of the "Pros" listed above could/should be in the "Cons", depending on circumstances and who is reading this.
Of Course.

Okay I'm just gonna apologize right here and now for wasting this much of your time already...
But it was kindof your fault *cringes* YOU SAID IT NOT ME! (you didnt actually say it. I made that up. If you DID actually say that... then WOW! I'm getting good.)
I can't even explain how retarted this post is now that i read it.. So... yeah.
I have no valid excuse.

Tuesday, October 11

Sunday, October 2

Rosy wonderings.

Milky whisps of starlit clouds like streamers across the velvet sky..
creating a frosty pattern.......                                
 cold frosted windows,  
im cozy in both my warm attire and in my happyness.

So. Its getting chilly an frostyish. brrr. But during the day the sun glints off the vibrantly colored  trees, leaves losing their grip and cascading down to join their friends on the ground,
creating rainbow clusters that glint in the autumn sun.

...and don't tell anybody but im kina getting excited for Christmas.
Cozyness calling out my name.
Family times around the fireplaces bursting with warmth, love and yummy food.
Celebrating what happened so many long years ago,
Joy, Happiness and wonder, coming alive.
Whats not to love!!!
I cant wait. :)


Casket Dance

  There was a great loss recently. Larry LaPrise, who wrote the "Hokey Pokey," died at age 83. It was extremely difficult for the family to keep him in the casket. They'd put his left leg in and...well, you know the rest.

Wednesday, September 28

Reach for a hug \('_')/

"How I wish I could return to that night sometimes. Just for fun, just for a few minutes, just now and again." -Adam Young.

There are those many times that are just wonderful and magical, with people that are just really awesome, that you know you will never forget. Like mainly about every day of my life. I'm pretty sure I have the best friends in the world.Yep.

Feelin Shpeshul.


Saturday, September 24


What really is Freedom to you? Just recently I've realized again that to some people it has an entirely different meaning than it does to me. To some its doing what you want, when you want, all in your own time. Deciding things by yourself. Having what you want, dressing how you want. Being your "true self".
To me, Freedom isn't being independant. Or living life on my own terms. Thats just like deciding to go live  INSIDE the cage to be free. Being truly free isnt something you can "get" or just decide to have. Its something deeper, something that only realizing what the truth is and living it, can bring. To me, freedom is being secure in Jesus Christ and realizing just as much as my teeny mushy brain can comprehend how much he loves me. Talking to him, reading his Book that he gave to us to guide us by, and just letting him lead my life. Somehow living in Him and in His Word, all bondage dissapears.. and true peacefulness and happiness just pours in. I can't even explain the wonderfullness of it.

Hallelujah!...We Are Free!!
Free from a heart bound by captivity;
Free from eyes that cannot see truth;
Free from ears that cannot hear God‘s word;
Free from a world of darkness and fear;
Free from a life of sin and its toll;
Free from Satan’s power and control;
Free from those heavy chains that bind;
Free to worship God in Spirit and truth...
Freed by God’s wondrous-amazing grace;
Freed by His Son who died in our place;
Freed by the precious blood that He shed;
Freed by the resurrection from the dead;
Freed by His pardon from all our sin;
Freed by His cleansing power within;
Freed by our Creator’s omnipotent hand;
Freed as we bow in humble thanksgiving
and are born again by His Holy Spirit.
Free to know peace and true happiness;
Free to enjoy a life that is blessed;
Free to love and forgive our brother;
Free to serve God and one another;
Free to live righteous, holy lives;
Free to follow Christ as He guides;
Free to worship and praise His Name;
Thank God we’re FREE from all our shame...
Hallelujah!...We Are Free!!
--Connie Campbell Bratcher (adapted)

"Jesus makes clear what the truth is. Yes, we were slaves, slaves of sin and Satan. But Jesus, God’s Son, came to set us free. He lived and died and rose again and has defeated sin, death and Satan. He has won freedom for the world and he offers that freedom to all through the Gospel. Now Jesus says to you and to me, to all who have been brought to faith in him; “hold to my teaching, remain in my word, then you are truly my disciples and you will know the truth and you will rejoice daily in your freedom.”  -Ulrike Unruh

So this is what I've been thinking about.. now I wanna hear what you guys have to say. :)

Friday, September 23

Tuesday, September 20

Something to gnaw on..

"Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it."

A Vivid Daydream


The play of color and and shadows and light are breathtaking.
It makes me wonder what she's thinking about.

Friday, September 16


Tonight what i'm feeling can't be explained by anything i could type.. So here's some words that kindof mean alot to me right now... I hope you read them not just for something to read or random words on a page but every single word, every single line as something new and wonderful.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through,
The question just amazes me!
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed,
Long before these rainy days,
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord;
My only shelter from the storm.
But instead I draw closer through these times.

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above,
Because You are much greater than my pain!!
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain?

Bring me joy, bring me peace!!
Bring the chance to be free!!
Bring me anything that brings You glory!!
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain!

-Mercy Me

Wednesday, September 14

The Late Love of my Life.

Today I will tell you the story of Arnold.
 *clears throat vigorously*

Arnold. Arnold was the love of my life. Was. Please take note on the emphasis of the word "was". Thank you. My father(hi dad)  beheld Arnold one day.. I would tell you more about the vibrancy of the day except for the fact that i recollect nothing about it.. So anyways.Back to the story. Arnold was a jaunty little fellow..  about two inches in diameter to be exact. He was waddling amongst rocks when he caught my dad's eye and perhaps he thought his daughter(me) would fancy Arnold, I don't know. But i did. Indeed I did. Arnold became my pride and my joy, the bread to my butter. The milk to my oreo. *okay maybe.. this part is exagerated.. a tad..*  When he came home with my father and was introduced i fell madly in love. I named him Arnold. My family tried to convince themeselves that the could all name him, to some he was Zip.To some he was, well i forget all the names he was dubbed but they were various ones. But i always knew that he would only ever be Arnold. 
He had a zesty life.. which consisted of basically trying to escape from his tupperware home, which we eventually had to put in a large basin because of his escape tactics somehow working.
He didn't eat much.
One day, Arnold looked a little down.A little in the dumps. More down than usual. We decided (there was much sadness involved) that he would have more fun in a different sort of place to live. Like for example a place that was more like he was used to before he became our hostage. He seemed passive about the idea and so with much sadness we sent him packing. He now lives somewhere in our creek behind our house. Maybe he found a little wife. I don't know. I have never come across Arnold since he left. But he will forever remain in our hearts, To the end. Waddle in Peace Arnold the turtle.

Tuesday, September 13

In all seriousness..

If you lick someone's elbow when they aren't paying attention they won't feel it.
This is actually a fact.

The hilarity of it probably depends on if you're the one doing it or experiencing it.

Monday, September 12


Lookee here. It would appear that this is my first post...
  *awkward pause...*
So.:) I decided to make a blog finally after kina imagining that it would be kina fun for awhile..
So i procrastinate!! Don't judge me.:)  No promises on any sort of anything interesting on here but hey. why not! If it fizzles out maybe its not meant to be. (snort snort)
K-O ima go.(rhyme rhyme! teehee)
Enough.  bya peeps. ;)