the Quiet.

TIME.
''Where does it go to
After it darts out of reach of our outstretched Fingertips?''


I get alot of time to think, Driving by myself at night. After the partys over and friends have said farewell for the night, and leave to go to their own cozy little niches to rest up for the next day....
I drive home. in Quiet-ness.


I realize that explaining it like this that you will wonder if I don't quite enjoy it...
I do.
Except for the times that it seems that the Dark Quiet will swallow my susceptible little soul.


Why must Time happen?


Feelings Blur....
Memories fade.


That Sureness I felt once
Of knowing So Strongly that this was "How it is",
That these Feelings aren't going to change...
It seems to Sneak away
         ...when you aren't even paying attention.


And I'm here left with a puzzle piece that didn't fit where I once thought It was supposed to be.


Does my human brain even Realize...
         How fragile time is?


Sometimes I feel like I get a little glimpse.
A haunting referal...
           Confusion knocking convincingly at the easily shattered glass window...
I'm falling, but in slow motion.
I watch as the world keeps on going
                               As i'm slowly drifting in an endless airless tunnel.
SLowly everything comes together above me.
A puzzle's worth of pieces drifting towards eachother, and
suddenly everything makes sense.


Maybe some day... when I'm done being a easily confused teenager
Everything will fall into place and I'll Get it.


Maybe.
:)
Then again....
Maybe I'm just a Dreamer...

Today I am..

{loving}
...Friends;)
...Colossians
...The Sunshiiine!
...my Owl hoody that has ears;)
...SPRING!!!!!

{wishing}

...For Summer!
...That I was in Ukraine

{listening to}

...Shuffling footsteps
...The hum of the computer
...My phone regurgitating
...Laughing fits


{reading}
...This 
...The New Testament
..."Surprised By Joy" by C. S. Lewis

{pondering}
...Life.
...Secret meanings.
...People.
...Truth.

{discovering}
...Traces.
 (?? Hey it sounded cool.:D )
...CoLoUr in unlikely places.
That rhymed. wink wink:D
...Everything is not as It Seems.
...STUFF.

{smelling}
...Food.
...Perfume:)

{believing}
...Just that.
Believing.
;)

The "Reason".

God

The word itself holds a secret I long to completely know.

YOu See.... This Sacred word is The Reason.

The reason for:

*insert everything you could think of*

Yeah.

I wish I could explain exactly what This precious word makes me feel. Inside.

Some wouldn't understand.

A couple of Years ago I would have been like..

*Scrolling rapidly with blank stare*

Yeah. Exactly that.

Not one idea...

Of the Wonders. Of the Endless Love!

I can't even write this without crying.

The Absoluteness Of My God.

I say "My God".

He is Mine.

I am the most Undeserving and absolutely Unworthy of ANYbody.

And yet, HE Loves ME!!

HE LOVES ME!!!

It doesn't make any sense. That He would Care about me

THAT much.

SO much.. that He DIED!!! For Me!!
So that I could Know Him and

So that He could spend Eternity with ME!!

He went through Every Single Doubt, Fear, Absolute Depression and All the Hurt YOU, I, and EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO HAS EXISTED AND WILL EXIST.

He TOOK THAT from You.

He FELT THAT FOR YOU!!!!

The inner struggle, the Pain of the Bondage was so Intense that He Bled out of His pores.


.......................

''Never has he felt so alone. What must be done, only can he do. An angel can’t do it. No

angel has the power to break open hell’s gates. A man can’t do it. No man has the purity to

destroy sin’s claim. No force on earth can face the force of evil and win—except God.

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," Jesus confesses.

His humanity begged to be delivered from what his divinity could see. Jesus, the

carpenter, implores. Jesus, the man, peers into the dark pit and begs, "Can’t there be another

way?"

Did he know the answer before he asked the question? Did his human heart hope his

heavenly father had found another way? We don’t know. But we do know he asked to get out.

We do know he begged for an exit. We do know there was a time when if he could have, he

would have turned his head back on the whole mess and gone away.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t because he saw you. Right there in the middle of a world which isn’t fair. He

saw you cast into a river of life which you didn’t request. He saw you betrayed by those you

love. He saw with a body which gets sick and a heart that grows weak.

He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring

into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave.

He saw you in your Garden of Gethsemane—and he didn’t want you to be alone.

He wanted you to know that he has been there, too. He knows what it’s like to be plotted against.

He knows what it’s like to be confused. He knows what it’s like to be torn between two desires.

He knows what it’s like to smell the stench of Satan. And, perhaps most of all, he knows what

it’s like to beg God to change his mind and to hear God say so gently, but firmly, "No." ''

-Max Lucado

...................

When I disowned Him and took Him for granted
He was still Right Beside Me.
Waiting.
Loving Me the same as He always had.

<3

 

What I found:

Thanks to my new blogger friend Madd, I discovered this tonight.
Her post.

Psalm 69

Save me, O God, for the waters have come clear to the soul.

I have sunk down in deep mire, where there is no standing ground.

I have come into profound waters,

And a flowing stream itself has washed me away.

I have become tired by my calling out;

My throat has become hoarse.

My eyes have failed while waiting for my God.

O God, you yourself have come to know my foolishness,

And from you my own guiltiness has not been hidden.

O may those hoping in you not be ashamed because of me,

O Sovereign Lord, Jehovah of armies.

O may those seeking you not be humiliated because of me,

O God of Israel.

And I proceeded to weep with the fasting of my soul,

But it came to be for reproaches to me.

But as for me, my prayer was to you, O Jehovah,

At an acceptable time, O God.

In the abundance of your loving-kindness answer me with the truth of salvation by you.

Deliver me from the mire, that I may not sink down.

O may I be delivered from those hating me and from the deep waters.

O may not the flowing stream of waters wash me away,

Nor the depth swallow me up,

Nor the well close its mouth over me.

Answer me, O Jehovah, for your loving-kindness is good.

According to the multitude of your mercies turn to me,

And do not conceal your face from your servant.

Because I am in sore straits, answer me quickly.

Do come near to my soul, reclaim it;

On account of my enemies redeem me.

But I am afflicted and aching

May your own salvation, O God, protect me.

I will praise the name of God with song,

And I will magnify him with thanksgiving.

The meek ones will certainly see it; they will rejoice.

You who are seeking God, let your heart also keep alive.

For Jehovah is listening to the poor ones,

And he will indeed not despise his very own prisoners.

Let heaven and earth praise him,

The seas and everything moving about in them.

For God himself will save Zion

And will build the cities of Judah;

And they will certainly dwell there and take possession of it.
 

And the offspring of his servants themselves will inherit it,

And those loving his name will be the ones to reside in it.

Little Funnies:)

My littlest Brother had named his cat "Stick".  Apparently, today He thought it wasn't appropriate anymore. Maybe It was just time to move on.

Stick has now upgraded to "Branch".